The Fine Art Of Water Poisoning

The Fine Art Of Water Poisoning


Alexilore you are sweating.” My companion says. I turn briefly to meet his peering gaze before returning my attention to my lappy screen. “I am sweating”, I state in a mocking tone, “because there is heat”. I roll my eyes. Two heart beats later, I am aware of a scrutinizing pair of eyes on me.

“What?” I snap “You are making me unduly self-conscious”. He leans forward, trails his finger on my neck and chin, where my sweat had caked, lifts the same finger to my forehead and imitates his previous gestures and then, rubs the white crusty particles against his thumb and forefinger in curiosity.

His eyes flick up to mine. “What’s this?” “ Salt” I say flatly.

“Unbelievable”. He mutters, peering at the white particles between his fingers, “can I lick it?”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” I slap his hands, dusting the particles off, yet he still manages to ward me off, holds my hands firmly at my sides as he puts his finger to his mouth. His eyes widen “for real Alexi, you are a salt reservoir. How come?” I shrug. “I wish I know, when my sweat dries it changes into white crust that tastes like salt.” He aims his hands for my face again and I brush it off. “I would appreciate if you stop embarrassing me. People are staring” I pluck my Face Towel from my Purse and beat down my face and neck. “There you go, now you can concentrate.”

His brows are furrowed in thought, “since when?”

I pretend not to understand. “What?”

“Since when did you observe it”.

I shrug “Errm dunno, It has always been there for as long as I remember”. “Anything to be worried about?” His eyes light up “why don’t we look it up” he bows his head away from me and begins pecking at his keyboard.

In a swift motion my hands fly at his laptop slamming it shut, almost jamming his hands in the process. He jumps “What are you doing?” heads turn in our direction. Though the lunch crowd is gradually thinning leaving just a handful of people in the Café, I am still not comfortable with undue attention from strangers.

“Sorry, I will look it up myself. I want to look it up myself” I fake a smile at him. There is a bemused expression on his face for a few minutes “oh well, let me know when you do”.

I did eventually, after seeing a doctor first, of course, which turned out to be a waste of consultation fees because when I tried describing my sweat turned salt phenomena, a blank expression clouded his face which was quickly replaced by confusion, and then he calmly eased into cocky, like this is just another, Doctor-you-really-don’t-know-anything-do-you?- here-let-me-teach-you, kinda Patient.

As much as I tried to explain to him and also make him believe I wasn’t there to question his seven years of medical school certificate or is it six years? (I didn’t verbally tell him this of course and to be honest, I don’t have much respect for Doctors in Nigeria at least. A large chunk of them are nasty) he kept looking at me like I was speaking Dutch. So I asked for routine check up instead(partial waste of consultation fees at least).

I browsed the net and oh I found precious little. I assume it’s still alien to the medical community or it’s nothing to worry about. The materials available said the same thing; metabolisms are different hence, my body probably secretes more sodium in my sweat than yours and all that needs to be done is replenishing the sodium loss by taking energy drinks instead of water and adding a pinch more salt in my food or else, my body system would be sodium deficient and it would lead to other complications😶 I don’t know how factual this is, so I have not and will not try it(is there anything like excess salt in the body?). Well, until I see an expert who understands.

Guess what? I did stumble upon very juicy news. Lol very exciting, you won’t understand unless you have been in my shoes and wearied your head about not drinking enough water, the stipulated 8 glasses a day or constantly being reminded *insert name* go and take water, have you taken water today? Go take a glass. Sometimes I drink five glasses at once, so I know its just three left for the day before I realize oh no I can’t breathe and I don’t have space for anything else 😂.

Allow me to introduce you to the fine art of water poisoning 😂Hyponatremia/water intoxication is the name and drinking too much water is the game.

We have been made to believe that water is the elixir of good health. I don’t dispute it I only want you to know that drinking eight to ten glasses a day is not gospel truth, it’s a cliché and there is harm in drinking too much water. The quantity of water each person needs, varies and is dependent on age, weight, height, exercise patterns, medical conditions and medications.

Hyponatremia or water intoxication (water poisoning 😝) is a decrease in sodium levels below 136 MML/litre blood serum. It happens due to quick over-hydration. Sodium is an important salt that helps in cell signalling and various other functions in the body. When your system is loaded with water, serum sodium levels drop and you start feeling nauseous, disoriented, fatigued and headache. In severe cases, it might also lead to death(very rare).

Hyponatremia or low-sodium in the blood can cause the brain to swell up, resulting in speech disability, disorientation, walking instability, psychosis. It also increases the volume of blood inside your body and increased blood volume, exerts pressure on the blood vessels and the heart, leading to seizure in some cases.

Okay my lovelies 😍 it’s a wrap.

#LoveandCelerySticks.

15 Comments

  1. Hehehe! This was a great read! Got me cracked up too!

  2. Great!

  3. What an enlightening piece. Keep it up

  4. Hehehe….. Nice

  5. I was asked to leave a comment here….. Dat I have done 😂

  6. Nice write up

  7. Great piece, read cases of people who actually died from water poisoning

  8. NICE ONE… SHOULD COME HERE MORE OFTEN

  9. Nice write up

  10. she never disappoints….. great piece! biko when is the next piece coming up?

  11. And so I came to remind myself of how beautiful this place is…

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