Who says soul mates are found in the opposite sex only? Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King have kicked this notion to the curb with the release of O Magazine’s September Issue Cover only a few days ago. These two women side by side, have become the symbol of friendship goals all over the feminine stratosphere.
Friends are for a time, a season and a lifetime but to be honest, for me it has always been a matter of ‘when’ and not ‘if’ the friendship will expire. I had stopped hoping on a lifetime friend or a soul sister because I really didn’t think they existed anymore. If anything, I have been inspired once again by what Oprah calls: a solid, timeless and a forever bond with Gayle.
If this doesn’t challenge you to evaluate your friendships, I dunno what will. You should know that one good friend in your corner is more than all the bags you can secure.
In curious interest I browsed through the tabloids, ingesting every bit of information I could get my eyes on that will give a clue to what has made Oprah Winfrey and Gayle’s friendship so profound that it has successfully survived every season and time of their lives.
I picked out some gems which I will be sharing with you.
Friendships are formed through connections, and there are several ways people connect. They include shared interests, mental connections, and values.
We meet and greet a variety of people each day, but not all interactions go beyond that first meeting. A few make it to the acquaintance stage and here there is still a sifting process to go through before becoming friends and from friends, best friends.
Shared interest will attract you to the other person and you will begin to hangout. A mental connection will put you on the same intellectual level as the other person. You and your friend must be mentally compatible. I have a male friend that we can’t sit and have a simple conversation. I am laughing as I write this because I know he will skin me alive. The problem with Hardy and I is that when he is talking A, what he means is: A as the first letter in the alphabet whereas me, I am thinking of A for acupuncture. It’s really funny that we don’t just get each other and because of this, I try as much as possible to keep my conversations with him short and simple. If the talk gets too long there’s bound to confusion.
Oprah and I had the same sensibilities. We liked the same kind of music. We thought smart.Gayle King
Can two walk together except they agree? If you and your friend don’t have the same moral foundation there are bound to be clashes. You can’t like a person you don’t agree with on major levels. It will drain you emotionally because without realizing it, you will be trying to change the other person’s views. You will try to make the person think and act the way you expect them to.
The next major takeaway is the ingredient of selflessness
Friendship shouldn’t be about what you can benefit from the other person. If this is your main reason for starting a friendship, then it’s flawed. It’s not about what you can get but what you can give. You should be ready to be emptied. Friendship demands investments: time, money, and presence. You should be ready to sympathize, empathize, be a cheerleader, and a cry pillow when necessary.
When Gayle got the call to go to CBS, she was working for OWN and didn’t want to leave for fear that the perception would be that even my best friend was abandoning “the struggling network.” I insisted, though: “You must take that job. You’ve been preparing your whole life for it.”Oprah Winfrey
Your friend should not be your competition, rather your inspiration. Seek to improve and be better for yourself, not better than your friend. Unhealthy competition ruins a friendship.
Her circle completes my own. I always believed that she sacrificed a lot of her heart’s desire to make sure this magazine, the one you’re reading right now, became successful. She left her job in local TV in 1999 to come work for O. She was at O during 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, the Virginia Tech shooting, and the historic 2008 elections, and I know she was yearning for a newsroom. To be right in the heat, sharing the information live. For 12 years, she missed that.Oprah
Have a life outside your friendship that you enjoy and wake up to, every morning. You may not have it all together now, but there should be a goal or a vision you are excited about. When you are whole as an individual, you will bring more value into your friendships.
Bask in each other’s light
Gayle adores all things news and pop culture. She reads multiple magazines and newspapers. Her bag is stuffed with articles she’s saved or tidbits she’s torn out to share with me. Her television is rarely off. She delights in devouring information that is culturally relevant. And she loves passing it along. The fact that she’s experiencing such recognition and success for doing what she’s always loved fills me with pride and joy.Oprah Winfrey
Fiercely celebrate one another as you would celebrate yourself. There should be no room for envy, that is why it’s key to know who you are and have an understanding that everyone has a different calling. It shouldn’t matter who is in the spotlight or who is securing the bags. You should sIncerely celebrate one another.
What are your key requirements for a lifetime friendship?